Why are you struggling sexually? You’re finally in a relationship with someone you really like, but you’re having trouble keeping an erection or reaching orgasm. What’s the deal!

You don’t want to scare off your new partner, but you know that something is just not right. Are you physically incompatible? Or do you have a mental block preventing you from enjoying yourself? There are many possible reasons for sexual dysfunction.

Why You May Be Struggling Sexually:

1. Medication/prescription drugs

Antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, blood pressure medication, birth control pills, antihistamines, and herbal supplements can affect your libido. If you’re having any difficulties in the bedroom, make sure you communicate this to your partner.

2. Disease

Diabetes, arthritis, cancer, and heart disease can lower your sex drive. Once you have gotten to a point where you feel comfortable opening up to your partner, you can talk about any diseases you have and explain how it affects your sex drive.

3. Menopause

40% of women have a loss of libido during menopause. Lubricants can help with vaginal dryness, and you can ask your doctor for other treatments if you’re still struggling to feel any sexual desire while you go through this process.

4. Low testosterone

Testosterone declines as you age, so you may have less desire for sex as you get older. Erectile dysfunction is a possible side effect of low testosterone, but it tends to happen more frequently when combined with another health issue, like diabetes.

5. Stress/anxiety/depression

These can all reduce your libido, whether you’re taking medication for them or not. If you are going through a rough time at work, are dealing with family problems, or are nervous about being intimate with your partner, your sexual organs may not work properly until you resolve these issues.

6. Sleep apnea

This causes fatigue, which can lower your libido. Sleep deprivation is equal to being drunk. You can’t focus or think straight, and it’s much more difficult to get an erection or reach orgasm.

7. Sexual ignorance/inexperience

A lack of knowledge or experience can affect your sex drive. Perhaps you didn’t have an older sibling or parent who taught you about the birds and the bees. Or maybe you grew up in a religious household where sex was taboo and never discussed. When you feel ready to learn about it, you can read books about sex and ask for guidance from a sex coach.

8. Traumatic sexual experiences

If you were traumatized by an awful experience, it could affect your libido. It takes time to heal from a painful sexual experience, so make sure you get the support you need and wait until you feel fully ready for an intimate relationship.

9. Drugs/alcohol

Alcohol is a depressant, which lowers your sex drive. It can cause erectile dysfunction and numbing of sensations. Every drug affects you in different ways, and the majority of them have a negative effect on your libido.

10. Relationship issues

If you often fight or lose attraction for your partner, you may not enjoy being intimate anymore. Or possibly, there are a combination of reasons you’re struggling sexually from the list above, and you just blame it all on your partner. It takes two for a relationship to succeed, so consider the fact that the issues may be coming from both of you.

If your relationship is thriving, but there’s a sexual problem, then you should make an appointment with a doctor or therapist to figure out what’s wrong. You may subconsciously know and not want to face the truth, but it will come back to haunt you when you want to be intimate with your partner.

 

 

 

Astrology may play a part in your relationship compatibility. If you think astrology is all nonsense, then feel free to skip this blog. But maybe you’ll understand why your relationships keep failing. Are you possibly dating people with incompatible astrological signs?

Let’s start with the four elements: fire, earth, air, and water.

Fire Signs:

Aries (March 21 to April 20), Leo (July 24 to August 23), and Sagittarius (November 23 to December 21) are all fire signs. These signs are adventurous, passionate, and spontaneous. Picture a fire burning down a building. It waits for no one and boldly breaks down walls that are in its way.

Earth Signs:

Taurus (April 21 to May 21), Virgo (August 24 to September 23), and Capricorn (December 22 to January 20) are earth signs. These signs are dependable, stable, and trustworthy. Imagine planting a seed in the ground and watching it slowly grow into a beautiful flower.

Air Signs:

Gemini (May 22 to June 21), Libra (September 24 to October 23), and Aquarius (January 21 to February 19) are air signs. These signs are known to be social, intellectual, and analytical. Air is all around you and wind blows in all directions, so these signs like to be where the action is.

Water Signs:

Cancer (June 22 to July 23), Scorpio (October 24 to November 22), and Pisces (February 20 to March 20) are all water signs. These signs are emotional, intuitive, and nurturing. A body of water can be calm and soothing, but it can suddenly become unpredictable and wild in certain situations.

Astrology and Relationship Compatibility

In most cases, your best match for a relationship is someone who has the same element but a different astrological sign. For example, Aries is most compatible with Leo and Sagittarius, and then third on the list is an Aries being with another Aries.

Your next best match is the sign that’s opposite yours, meaning six months later. These signs balance each other out, so any traits that you’re lacking will be found in your opposite partner.

Aries – Libra

Taurus – Scorpio

Gemini – Sagittarius

Cancer – Capricorn

Leo – Aquarius

Virgo – Pisces

Fire and air signs are very compatible because they help each other out. A fire needs air to survive, so, as an example, a Leo and Libra will usually get along and have a happy relationship.

Earth and water signs are also compatible because they need each other in order to exist. It’s impossible to have a body of water without the earth, and the earth needs water to feed it and help it grow. Capricorn and Pisces would make an excellent team and have a solid relationship.

Astrology and Relationship Incompatibility

In general, everyone has three signs that they’re highly compatible with, three signs that they’re mildly compatible with, and six signs that are not the best matches for them. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. If you’re on the cusp of a sign (for example, your birthday falls between November 20-25), you may have traits of both Scorpio and Sagittarius. Therefore, you could be a great match for practically every sign!

If you envision the elements, you’ll understand why they don’t always get along. Fire burns earth, and water puts out fire. A passionate fire sign can destroy the stability of a solid earth sign. An emotional water sign can ruin a fire sign’s spirited energy.

Earth and air signs can get along side by side, but they don’t really need each other. In fact, they may end up ignoring each other over time. Air and water signs are incompatible because both elements are necessary to exist, but not at the same time. You breathe air and drink water, but never together.

Who are you compatible with?

Being in a healthy, happy relationship takes lots of work and effort. You can’t assume that everything will be great just because your astrological signs are compatible. It’s important to assess whether you have similar relationship requirements, values, and life goals. Astrology is fun to learn about, but it’s not the most reliable way to decide if you’re compatible with your partner.

In case you’re still confused, this is the order of your most compatible matches in astrology:

Aries: Leo, Sagittarius, Aries, Libra, Gemini, Aquarius

Taurus: Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus, Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces

Gemini: Libra, Aquarius, Gemini, Sagittarius, Aries, Leo

Cancer: Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer, Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo

Leo: Sagittarius, Aries, Leo, Aquarius, Libra, Gemini

Virgo: Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo, Pisces, Scorpio, Cancer

Libra: Aquarius, Gemini, Libra, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Scorpio: Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Sagittarius: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, Aquarius, Libra

Capricorn: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio

Aquarius: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Leo, Sagittarius, Aries

Pisces: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces, Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus

 

 

Your 5 senses are important in dating. You may have taken your refined taste buds for granted your whole life, and now you can use that to your advantage when searching for a life partner. Of course, what you see is the first indicator of attraction, but all 5 senses matter when it comes to finding love.

Sight

Your sense of sight is the first thing that comes into play when assessing if you’re attracted to someone. Most people decide instantly if they want to learn more about the potential date. If not, they may walk away and never give the person a chance.

You should be at least a little bit physically attracted in the beginning. That attraction can grow immensely, and maybe you’ll begin to love other qualities that make up for a person’s average looks. However, if the person becomes more and more unattractive to you over time, it’s a sign that the relationship is heading for failure.

Sound

A person’s voice can be pleasing to your ears, or it can sound like fingernails scratching on a chalkboard. Tony Robbins is famous for many things, including his raspy voice. With hours of non-stop talking, he has damaged his vocal cords.

It’s important to enjoy or at least tolerate your date’s voice. If the person’s voice makes you shiver with disgust, you have to decide if you’re willing to put up with it for the rest of your life. Your personality comes through when you speak, too. Listen for tone, clarity, speed, and volume when you’re on a date. Once you hear the essence of a person’s voice, you’ll know if it’s attractive to you.

Smell

All your senses are important, but smell may be the number one element of attraction. What you smell is a powerful indicator of how compatible you are with someone. Some colognes and perfumes supposedly contain human pheromones, but you can’t bottle up a person’s actual scent.

If your major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes are too similar or too different, you won’t be attracted to the person’s smell. You can’t fight science. The genetic makeup of your date is either compatible with yours, or it’s not. It may take a little time for your nose to adjust to a new, unique smell, but after spending some time together, you can assess whether the person’s smell is a turn-on.

Taste

Your sense of smell and taste are closely linked, so when you kiss someone, you’re not only smelling the person’s scent, but you can taste it as well. I’m not talking about what the person ate for dinner. If you enjoy the taste of your date’s saliva and sweat, it means you are genetically compatible.

If you have an aversion to your date’s taste, you should figure out if it’s food-related or the way the person always tastes. Trust your taste buds. They will send a signal to your brain, so don’t ignore the signs you receive.

Touch

We all like to be touched. Some more than others. Luckily this is the one sense that can be altered based on your preference. If you start dating someone whose touch is too rough, you can guide him/her to caress you more gently.

One indicator that you aren’t attracted to your date is if you’re repulsed by any type of touch by this person. Maybe your date has a loving, gentle touch, but this isn’t the person you are meant to be with. It’s important to enjoy touching and being touched by your partner, as this is one of the love languages.

Your 5 senses are all important indicators of your attraction in dating.

Some of your senses might work better than others, but any sign you receive from your sense of sight, sound, smell, taste, or touch shouldn’t be ignored.

Have you figured out the mystery of ghosting in dating? You probably know what ghosting is. It has been around for years, and with dating apps and social media blowing up, it has become very common in the dating world. Have you ever ghosted someone or been ghosted?

What is ghosting in dating?

In case you’ve never heard the term, ghosting means ceasing all communication and contact with a partner or friend without any warning or justification, and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out made by said partner or friend (according to Wikipedia).

In simple terms, ghosting means disappearing from someone’s life with no warning or follow-up. It can happen at any stage of the dating process. After a few texting exchanges, some phone calls, after a few dates, or sometimes even after months of dating.

Why do people ghost?

They do it because it’s quick and easy. Instead of facing you or coming up with a reason they don’t want to talk to you, it’s faster to just disappear. They can delete themselves from your life by blocking you on the dating app, unfriending you on Facebook, or removing your number from their phone. This type of ghosting tends to happen most frequently in the very early stages of dating, probably before you ever met in person. They might have a lot going on in life and don’t have time for a relationship. Although it hurts to be ghosted, it’s a blessing in disguise at this phase.

They also might ghost because they have no interest in you. Maybe you went out once or twice and felt attraction, but the other person didn’t. They feel bad giving you an honest reason they don’t want to see you again, so they do it the coward’s way by disappearing. At this phase, it hurts a little more because you’ve devoted more time and energy to the person, and then they leave you feeling confused and vulnerable.

The worst type of ghosting is when they do it after weeks or months or even years of dating. Because you’ve known each other for a long time, you may have developed a relationship with the person’s friends and family. When the person ghosts you, you may be ghosted by all the friends and family, too. This type of ghosting shows that they are emotionally immature. They could be mentally unstable, and it’ll be better for you in the long run to be without them.

What happens to you if you’re ghosted?

First of all, you’re going to feel hurt and confused. No matter what stage of the dating process you were in, it’s still confusing to be ghosted. You spent a lot of time talking and developing feelings and attachment, and then, all of a sudden, the person vanishes from your life. You’ll feel sad and rejected, and it makes absolutely no sense as to why it happened.

You also might blame yourself. You try to justify the ghosting by thinking you said something to push them away. Did you possibly do something to turn them off? You overanalyze every single word you said. Then you come up with a few reasons the person ghosted you, and you focus on those and blame yourself as you go into a downward spiral.

If you’re ghosted after a long time together, you may go through the five stages of grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross created a model for the five stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although this model is about coping with the death of a loved one, when someone ghosts you, it signifies the death of the relationship.

How do you deal with getting ghosted?

You must recognize that it happened. Give yourself as much time as you need to process your feelings, and try not to dwell on it. You can’t control what the other person does, so you have to let it sink in and move on with your life. If you find yourself going through the five stages of grief, it might take a few weeks or months until you feel like your true self again. Take a break from dating if you need to.

Going through a breakup by being ghosted is the worst ending to a relationship because you get no closure. Therefore, you have to create your own closure, whatever that means for you. If you need to write a long letter and send it to the person, then do it. Or, you can write a letter and envision giving it to the person. Instead of sending it, you rip it up and throw it out to signify ridding yourself of this person.

Think about activities you enjoy doing, and turn one of those into an experience of closure. If you like to draw, you can draw a picture that signifies closure for you. Or you can belt out songs in the car or shower that are about love and loss. You can deal with ghosting in your own way, and take all the time you need to heal.

Ghosting will remain a mystery in the dating world.

Instead of owning up to your feelings or communicating that you don’t want to date someone anymore, many people resort to ghosting. It happens to everyone, and it sucks, but it has taken over the world of dating.