What are the four types of compatibility in a relationship?

There is tons of reading material about what makes a compatible partner, and everyone has a different idea of what compatibility means. Is it better to be with someone exactly like you? Or do opposites attract?

I personally believe that the more similar you are, the better your odds are for sustaining the relationship. That doesn’t mean you need to find someone with an identical personality to yours. However, if you’re completely opposite in every way, the excitement will quickly subside.

The four main types of compatibility are physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Physical:

People prefer different amounts of touching and ways of being touched. It would be ideal if your partner has similar preferences. It’s important to communicate what you like when you’re first physically intimate to keep your partner on track with your needs and desires.

Any intimate act, including sex, hugging, and even holding hands, causes an increased production of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” This increase leads to the release of endorphins, which is your natural pain-killing hormone. It helps relieve stress and increase pleasure.

Physical intimacy seems pretty straightforward, but if your body is not functioning properly, it can have an impact on your relationship. Certain illnesses, diseases, medications, hormonal changes, and aging can affect your sexuality. Everyone reacts differently to medication. Prescription pills for depression or high blood pressure, over-the-counter medicine, and birth control pills can all have an influence on you. Keep that in mind when you’re first getting to know someone. Hopefully the physical compatibility is strong, but if not, there are often ways to work through the issues.

Emotional:

This type of compatibility takes time to develop. Once you feel more comfortable opening up with a partner and sharing your hopes and fears, the emotional connection will grow. You don’t have to have the same emotional needs, but you should understand the emotional needs of your partner and respond appropriately.

Engaging in activities together and reminiscing about past events is a good way to bring you emotionally closer. Talking about your feelings can help you release any insecurities you have about the relationship. You may suddenly remember a situation that occurred in your past that affects the way you feel about relationships in the present.

If you have blocked emotions, opening up to the incidents that happened long ago can help you get through them for the future. Your emotions are connected to your heart. If your heart aches for your partner, you probably have excellent emotional compatibility.

Mental:

Your brain is the most important sex organ in your body. The body and mind are completely connected, so having a powerful mental connection can lead to mind-blowing sex. However, if your mind is constantly churning with negative thoughts and ideas, it can ruin your pleasure.

Being able to have a deep, intellectual discussion with your partner can be so satisfying. It can also make your attraction grow tenfold. There are certain people that are not on the same mental wavelength, but this is one element that is somewhat easy to notice early on in the relationship.

If you grow old together, conversation and mental stimulation will be more important than sex. You want someone who challenges your intellect and keeps you thinking. If the conversation flows and you “get” each other, you may be on your way to having an incredible relationship with great mental compatibility.

Spiritual:

Your spirituality not only includes your religion, but it also relates to your energy and soul. It’s the type of compatibility that’s hardest to define, yet it is the piece of the puzzle that’s missing in many relationships. It’s the feeling you have when you’ve found your soulmate.

All people have a certain energy that radiates from them. Noticing how yours interacts with others can help you discover who you are best meant to connect with. If you’re compatible with your partner physically, emotionally, and mentally, but something seems off in the relationship, you may be lacking spiritual compatibility.

Having the same religious background and belief in a Higher Power (whether it’s God or something else) can help bring you together. It’ll make things easier if you want to pass these beliefs on to your children. Even if that’s not a factor, it’s important to feel that your energy is in alignment with your partner’s. If you have the right spiritual compatibility, you two will be unstoppable.


All of these four types of compatibility are equally important, and they are all connected to one another. A lack of compatibility in one area will create problems that will spill into other areas of the relationship. This article sums up the four types and explains how they’re all needed to have a healthy partnership.

Get to know someone fully before committing to a relationship. Realize that it takes time to develop compatibility. When you have all four aspects of compatibility, hold onto this person forever.