Did you know that there are three entities of a relationship?

As a relationship coach, I’ve learned that working with couples is a lot more complex than working with singles. It’s because I’m not just focusing on the couple. There are two individuals that each have their own set of values and opinions and personality traits. They connected and formed a partnership, and that relationship is the third entity.

The first entity: YOU

You are one-of-a-kind. As an extraordinary individual, you bring all your life experiences to the table when you enter into a relationship. As the years go by and you date multiple people, the one thing each relationship has in common is you.

Perhaps you mature and shift your beliefs about important topics. You may change careers, go through a mid-life crisis, move to a new city, and experience traumatic or stressful situations throughout your life. However, you are still YOU.

The person you are at your core will never change. The way you act around others will vary, though. You probably reveal a different side of yourself to different types of people. You hold back part of yourself on a first date, but then, as you grow more comfortable with your partner, you begin to reveal more and more about who you are.

The second entity: YOUR PARTNER

Just as you are your own person, so is your partner. Even if your partner grew up in the same town and had a similar background, it’s extremely unlikely that you have identical personalities.

I grew up with two sisters. We were raised the same way, yet my parents were amazed that they produced three daughters who were so completely different from one another. As a child, my sisters were my partners in life. Family is usually your first taste of what it’s like to be in a relationship. You have to get along, despite your differences.

In the dating world, you don’t have to stay with someone if you have too many differences. But you should understand that nobody will be a clone of you. The point of dating is to meet others and see how compatible you are. Once you find someone you get along with, you can decide if your values are in alignment and you have a similar vision for your relationship.

The third entity: YOUR RELATIONSHIP

I want you to think back to all your previous relationships. Perhaps they had a few things in common, but my guess is that the relationship dynamics were vastly different from one another.

It’s because when you put two people together, no matter how similar you are, this partnership is completely unique and can’t be replicated. Even if you strive to find another partner exactly like your ex, it’s impossible for the relationship dynamics to be the same.

A while ago, I dated two brothers in the same year. They grew up together, were close in age, and had similar interests. However, as I got to know the second brother, I discovered that the way we interacted with each other wasn’t at all like my interactions with the first brother. I was still being my true self, but my relationship with each brother was very distinct.

Be aware of the three entities of a relationship.

Jumping into a new relationship is exhilarating and exciting. I just hope you recognize that there are three entities present in every relationship. It takes time and effort to make it last. You have to care for yourself, your partner, and the relationship in order to have success.