What are the four types of compatibility in a relationship?

There is tons of reading material about what makes a compatible partner, and everyone has a different idea of what compatibility means. Is it better to be with someone exactly like you? Or do opposites attract?

I personally believe that the more similar you are, the better your odds are for sustaining the relationship. That doesn’t mean you need to find someone with an identical personality to yours. However, if you’re completely opposite in every way, the excitement will quickly subside.

The four main types of compatibility are physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Physical:

People prefer different amounts of touching and ways of being touched. It would be ideal if your partner has similar preferences. It’s important to communicate what you like when you’re first physically intimate to keep your partner on track with your needs and desires.

Any intimate act, including sex, hugging, and even holding hands, causes an increased production of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” This increase leads to the release of endorphins, which is your natural pain-killing hormone. It helps relieve stress and increase pleasure.

Physical intimacy seems pretty straightforward, but if your body is not functioning properly, it can have an impact on your relationship. Certain illnesses, diseases, medications, hormonal changes, and aging can affect your sexuality. Everyone reacts differently to medication. Prescription pills for depression or high blood pressure, over-the-counter medicine, and birth control pills can all have an influence on you. Keep that in mind when you’re first getting to know someone. Hopefully the physical compatibility is strong, but if not, there are often ways to work through the issues.

Emotional:

This type of compatibility takes time to develop. Once you feel more comfortable opening up with a partner and sharing your hopes and fears, the emotional connection will grow. You don’t have to have the same emotional needs, but you should understand the emotional needs of your partner and respond appropriately.

Engaging in activities together and reminiscing about past events is a good way to bring you emotionally closer. Talking about your feelings can help you release any insecurities you have about the relationship. You may suddenly remember a situation that occurred in your past that affects the way you feel about relationships in the present.

If you have blocked emotions, opening up to the incidents that happened long ago can help you get through them for the future. Your emotions are connected to your heart. If your heart aches for your partner, you probably have excellent emotional compatibility.

Mental:

Your brain is the most important sex organ in your body. The body and mind are completely connected, so having a powerful mental connection can lead to mind-blowing sex. However, if your mind is constantly churning with negative thoughts and ideas, it can ruin your pleasure.

Being able to have a deep, intellectual discussion with your partner can be so satisfying. It can also make your attraction grow tenfold. There are certain people that are not on the same mental wavelength, but this is one element that is somewhat easy to notice early on in the relationship.

If you grow old together, conversation and mental stimulation will be more important than sex. You want someone who challenges your intellect and keeps you thinking. If the conversation flows and you “get” each other, you may be on your way to having an incredible relationship with great mental compatibility.

Spiritual:

Your spirituality not only includes your religion, but it also relates to your energy and soul. It’s the type of compatibility that’s hardest to define, yet it is the piece of the puzzle that’s missing in many relationships. It’s the feeling you have when you’ve found your soulmate.

All people have a certain energy that radiates from them. Noticing how yours interacts with others can help you discover who you are best meant to connect with. If you’re compatible with your partner physically, emotionally, and mentally, but something seems off in the relationship, you may be lacking spiritual compatibility.

Having the same religious background and belief in a Higher Power (whether it’s God or something else) can help bring you together. It’ll make things easier if you want to pass these beliefs on to your children. Even if that’s not a factor, it’s important to feel that your energy is in alignment with your partner’s. If you have the right spiritual compatibility, you two will be unstoppable.

All of these four types of compatibility are equally important, and they are all connected to one another. A lack of compatibility in one area will create problems that will spill into other areas of the relationship. This article sums up the four types and explains how they’re all needed to have a healthy partnership.

Get to know someone fully before committing to a relationship. Realize that it takes time to develop compatibility. When you have all four aspects of compatibility, hold onto this person forever.

Should you live together before marriage? There are lots of things to consider before moving in with a partner.

You may believe moving in after a few months is best, or you want to be traditional and wait until marriage.

Here are some pros to living together before marriage:

1. You save money.

Instead of having separate apartments with all the bills that come with it (rent, internet, electricity, etc.), you can live in one space with one set of furniture.

2. You get to “test drive” the relationship.

Living together is good practice for when you’re married. If you get along while you’re dating, marriage will be a breeze!

3. You learn to accept each other’s differences.

Your idiosyncrasies will be apparent after spending so much time together, so this is a good way to really get to know your partner.

4. You’ll see your partner daily.

You can do household chores together, have regular intimacy, and not worry about scheduling time for each other.

These are all legitimate reasons for wanting to live with a partner, and if you don’t have the desire to get married, this could be the right path for you. After getting to know your partner for about a year, moving in together may be the appropriate next step for your relationship.

However, living with a partner out of convenience or because you’re hoping it’ll lead to marriage is dangerous. If you break up, you have to move all your belongings out and find a new place to live immediately, all while dealing with heartache.

Statistics show that couples who live together are more likely to break up before marriage, and they’re also more likely to get divorced after marriage.

This could have to do with convenience: You live with your partner, and even if you have doubts, you figure that the next logical step is to get married. You brush all your problems aside because it’ll be too much of a hassle to break up and move out. Instead, you agree to spend the rest of your life with this person that you’re not really excited to be with.

If you do want to get married, there are some important things to consider.

Here are some pros to waiting until you’re married before living together:

1. Your marriage will be a brand new phase of your life.

Along with committing to your partner for the rest of your life, you’ll be coming together and creating a new home. Ideally, you’d both move out of your current places and find a new home that you can share together. That way, you won’t feel like you’re making room for someone else’s belongings or adding clutter to someone else’s space.

If you have to move into a new place before the wedding, that’s OK as long as the wedding is already planned and coming up soon. If there’s no set wedding date, you may end up putting it off while facing relationship conflicts. Planning a wedding is stressful, and living together during this time can cause fights that lead to breaking up.

2. You’re more likely to stick around, for better or for worse.

Marriage is a contract that most people take very seriously, whereas living together doesn’t seem as absolute. If you’re living with a partner, you may feel like there’s an easy way out. If you want out of the relationship, you can simply move out. Getting out of a marriage is more complicated, so you’re less likely to leave. Being in a relationship isn’t easy, and you’re bound to have conflicts. If you’re married, you’ll work harder to resolve the conflicts.

Some final thoughts…

I’ve had a variety of roommates and housemates, and I lived with a boyfriend for a while. Living with anyone isn’t easy, no matter how compatible you are. You have different methods of organization, and it’s difficult to share space, especially if you’ve lived by yourself for a long time.

One pro to living together that I’ve often heard is that you get to see what it’s like living with your partner before taking the marriage plunge. I understand that, but you can tell enough about the person by spending lots of time together. I don’t discourage you from sleeping over at each other’s places every so often. In fact, that’s important if you tend to have trouble sleeping. See if you’re compatible sleeping partners, and you’ll discover other habits along the way.

So should you live together before marriage? This article is very well-written and discusses both sides of the argument. If marriage is a relationship requirement for you, then you must be clear with your partner and discuss the reasons you’re moving in together.

Living together while dating or waiting until marriage is completely up to you. There are pros and cons to both, and every relationship is unique. My opinion is to wait, but you can find many other people with different beliefs. Do whatever feels right for you and your current situation.

Do soulmates exist? Is there one person out there that you’re meant to be with? Or can you make a relationship work with anyone, as long as you put enough effort into it?

With over 7.8 billion people in the world, you’re bound to be soulmates with at least one person, right? I don’t have any tangible evidence, but my belief is that…

Everyone has a few soulmates.

Whether you come into contact with them or not is a different story. It depends on your life path. If you’ve somehow gotten way off track, you may still meet people that are very compatible with you, but they may not be your soulmates.

How do you know if you’ve come into contact with a soulmate?

In my opinion, you just know. You can’t explain it.

There’s a feeling deep inside you that this person’s soul is somehow connected to yours.

You completely understand each other and appreciate each other’s imperfections.

If this person has a trait that you normally can’t stand, it probably won’t bother you.

You feel an electric pull towards soulmates, as if you must be near them at all times. You may get an actual ache in your heart when you’re not near them.

There’s a certain intensity that surrounds you both, like an electric current, and you could experience a sense of deja vu, as if you’ve met before.

This HuffPost article describes nine signs you’ve found your soulmate. There are many other articles online that discuss it as well.

Although soulmates are most often thought to be romantic in nature, they don’t have to be. It’s possible to have a really close friend that’s a soulmate.

How do you know if soulmates exist in your life?

As I mentioned, my belief is that everyone has a few soulmates. You’re lucky if you meet one of them, but it’s possible to have a few soulmates in your life.

If you happen to meet a soulmate who is already in a romantic relationship or not interested in being intimate with you, don’t think of it as a wasted opportunity. You were destined to meet each other, so figure out what you can take away from the experience.

Just because you’re soulmates, it doesn’t mean you have to end up together.

It’s possible to lock eyes with someone across a room and feel a sudden energy between you. Maybe that’s your soulmate, but it could also just be great chemistry.

Feeling immediately attracted to someone is more likely related to chemistry.

Seeing beyond the physical attributes is what a soulmate would do.

Do you ever see a couple together and wonder why they’re together? Perhaps you think one of them is much more attractive than the other. Or they seem mismatched in every way. Well maybe they’re soulmates! They find each other beautiful and perfect, so they don’t care if everyone judges them.

In this example, the phrase “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is completely accurate. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because they’re happy together.

A soulmate will appear in your life when the time is right.

If you spend your life searching for your soulmate, there’s a good chance you’ll never find the right person.

You can’t force it or rush it.

If you’re open to the possibility of meeting a soulmate, it’ll happen.

Don’t be disappointed if you meet a soulmate but can’t be together. There was a reason you met, so enjoy the relationship while it lasts.

Maybe your paths will cross again in a few years or in another lifetime. Or perhaps this person was meant to push you along your journey, to help lead you to the person you ARE meant to be with forever.

If you are content with settling for someone who’s not your soulmate, that’s your choice.

However, soulmates exist if you believe in them.