Should you live together before marriage? There are lots of things to consider before moving in with a partner.
You may believe moving in after a few months is best, or you want to be traditional and wait until marriage.
Here are some pros to living together before marriage:
1. You save money.
Instead of having separate apartments with all the bills that come with it (rent, internet, electricity, etc.), you can live in one space with one set of furniture.
2. You get to “test drive” the relationship.
Living together is good practice for when you’re married. If you get along while you’re dating, marriage will be a breeze!
3. You learn to accept each other’s differences.
Your idiosyncrasies will be apparent after spending so much time together, so this is a good way to really get to know your partner.
4. You’ll see your partner daily.
You can do household chores together, have regular intimacy, and not worry about scheduling time for each other.
These are all legitimate reasons for wanting to live with a partner, and if you don’t have the desire to get married, this could be the right path for you. After getting to know your partner for about a year, moving in together may be the appropriate next step for your relationship.
However, living with a partner out of convenience or because you’re hoping it’ll lead to marriage is dangerous. If you break up, you have to move all your belongings out and find a new place to live immediately, all while dealing with heartache.
Statistics show that couples who live together are more likely to break up before marriage, and they’re also more likely to get divorced after marriage.
This could have to do with convenience: You live with your partner, and even if you have doubts, you figure that the next logical step is to get married. You brush all your problems aside because it’ll be too much of a hassle to break up and move out. Instead, you agree to spend the rest of your life with this person that you’re not really excited to be with.
If you do want to get married, there are some important things to consider.
Here are some pros to waiting until you’re married before living together:
1. Your marriage will be a brand new phase of your life.
Along with committing to your partner for the rest of your life, you’ll be coming together and creating a new home. Ideally, you’d both move out of your current places and find a new home that you can share together. That way, you won’t feel like you’re making room for someone else’s belongings or adding clutter to someone else’s space.
If you have to move into a new place before the wedding, that’s OK as long as the wedding is already planned and coming up soon. If there’s no set wedding date, you may end up putting it off while facing relationship conflicts. Planning a wedding is stressful, and living together during this time can cause fights that lead to breaking up.
2. You’re more likely to stick around, for better or for worse.
Marriage is a contract that most people take very seriously, whereas living together doesn’t seem as absolute. If you’re living with a partner, you may feel like there’s an easy way out. If you want out of the relationship, you can simply move out. Getting out of a marriage is more complicated, so you’re less likely to leave. Being in a relationship isn’t easy, and you’re bound to have conflicts. If you’re married, you’ll work harder to resolve the conflicts.
Some final thoughts…
I’ve had a variety of roommates and housemates, and I lived with a boyfriend for a while. Living with anyone isn’t easy, no matter how compatible you are. You have different methods of organization, and it’s difficult to share space, especially if you’ve lived by yourself for a long time.
One pro to living together that I’ve often heard is that you get to see what it’s like living with your partner before taking the marriage plunge. I understand that, but you can tell enough about the person by spending lots of time together. I don’t discourage you from sleeping over at each other’s places every so often. In fact, that’s important if you tend to have trouble sleeping. See if you’re compatible sleeping partners, and you’ll discover other habits along the way.
So should you live together before marriage? This article is very well-written and discusses both sides of the argument. If marriage is a relationship requirement for you, then you must be clear with your partner and discuss the reasons you’re moving in together.
Living together while dating or waiting until marriage is completely up to you. There are pros and cons to both, and every relationship is unique. My opinion is to wait, but you can find many other people with different beliefs. Do whatever feels right for you and your current situation.