Why are you struggling sexually? You’re finally in a relationship with someone you really like, but you’re having trouble keeping an erection or reaching orgasm. What’s the deal!

You don’t want to scare off your new partner, but you know that something is just not right. Are you physically incompatible? Or do you have a mental block preventing you from enjoying yourself? There are many possible reasons for sexual dysfunction.

Why You May Be Struggling Sexually:

1. Medication/prescription drugs

Antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, blood pressure medication, birth control pills, antihistamines, and herbal supplements can affect your libido. If you’re having any difficulties in the bedroom, make sure you communicate this to your partner.

2. Disease

Diabetes, arthritis, cancer, and heart disease can lower your sex drive. Once you have gotten to a point where you feel comfortable opening up to your partner, you can talk about any diseases you have and explain how it affects your sex drive.

3. Menopause

40% of women have a loss of libido during menopause. Lubricants can help with vaginal dryness, and you can ask your doctor for other treatments if you’re still struggling to feel any sexual desire while you go through this process.

4. Low testosterone

Testosterone declines as you age, so you may have less desire for sex as you get older. Erectile dysfunction is a possible side effect of low testosterone, but it tends to happen more frequently when combined with another health issue, like diabetes.

5. Stress/anxiety/depression

These can all reduce your libido, whether you’re taking medication for them or not. If you are going through a rough time at work, are dealing with family problems, or are nervous about being intimate with your partner, your sexual organs may not work properly until you resolve these issues.

6. Sleep apnea

This causes fatigue, which can lower your libido. Sleep deprivation is equal to being drunk. You can’t focus or think straight, and it’s much more difficult to get an erection or reach orgasm.

7. Sexual ignorance/inexperience

A lack of knowledge or experience can affect your sex drive. Perhaps you didn’t have an older sibling or parent who taught you about the birds and the bees. Or maybe you grew up in a religious household where sex was taboo and never discussed. When you feel ready to learn about it, you can read books about sex and ask for guidance from a sex coach.

8. Traumatic sexual experiences

If you were traumatized by an awful experience, it could affect your libido. It takes time to heal from a painful sexual experience, so make sure you get the support you need and wait until you feel fully ready for an intimate relationship.

9. Drugs/alcohol

Alcohol is a depressant, which lowers your sex drive. It can cause erectile dysfunction and numbing of sensations. Every drug affects you in different ways, and the majority of them have a negative effect on your libido.

10. Relationship issues

If you often fight or lose attraction for your partner, you may not enjoy being intimate anymore. Or possibly, there are a combination of reasons you’re struggling sexually from the list above, and you just blame it all on your partner. It takes two for a relationship to succeed, so consider the fact that the issues may be coming from both of you.

If your relationship is thriving, but there’s a sexual problem, then you should make an appointment with a doctor or therapist to figure out what’s wrong. You may subconsciously know and not want to face the truth, but it will come back to haunt you when you want to be intimate with your partner.