Should you have kids? Maybe you wrestled with this question for years, or perhaps you’ve been sure since a young age.

Having kids or not is a very personal decision that you need to make on your own.

You may have always longed for a baby. You assumed you’d get married and have kids at a reasonable age, and everything would go smoothly.

Perhaps you are married or in a committed relationship now, but you’re starting to have doubts about kids. Or your partner isn’t sure anymore.

Maybe you’ve been trying unsuccessfully for months or years, and you’re thinking of giving up.

Or you’re single and don’t know if you want to raise a child on your own.

Maybe you already have a child or step-child, and you’re not sure if you want to have more.

There are numerous reasons you’re asking yourself this question, so how do you decide?

 

If you’ve been on the fence about whether you should have kids or not, try this visualization exercise:

 

Sit in a quiet place and close your eyes. Picture your life five years from now. Imagine all the details of your perfect life.

Where do you live? Who do you live with? What do you do every day?

Let your mind wander freely, and only open your eyes once you’re satisfied with your future.

Now answer this: Is there a baby in your future?

 

There is no right or wrong answer. And there’s no “perfect” time to have a child. If your doctor confirms that your body is healthy, it’s impossible to know if you’ll get pregnant immediately or if you’ll have trouble conceiving.

Instead of worrying about the timing, it’s important for you to consider all the aspects of raising a child. The scary thing about having a baby is that you never know what you’re going to get. You’ll hopefully have a healthy, beautiful baby that’s very easy to take care of.

You need to consider all possibilities, though, and discuss how you’ll handle any problems that may arise.

If you’re single and considering having a baby, make sure you have support from friends and family. Taking care of a child is the biggest responsibility you’ll ever have. It’s completely up to you how to raise this person. This child will bring so much love into your life, but having a child could also cause you a lifetime of grief.

 

Baby fever is real!

 

If you have “baby fever” and want to get pregnant as soon as possible, make sure you’re clear with your partner about your desire.

There’s no harm in saying you want kids in the beginning phase of dating. If it scares the person away, you’re not a good match. It’s better that you find out sooner rather than later.

If you strongly believe that kids are not in your future, then that’s also important to bring up early on in dating.

I know some people who hoped their partners would change their minds, but that didn’t happen. Instead, they stayed together a few years and had a nasty breakup when they discovered they still weren’t on the same page about having kids.

Being unsure about having kids is a tough spot to be in. Are you hoping your partner will decide for you? This indecisiveness can happen to both men and women.

If it doesn’t feel like it’s right for you, then don’t have kids right now. You can change your mind. And if pregnancy isn’t in your future, you can adopt or get a foster child.

If you accidentally get pregnant, there are also options for you. There is a lot to consider when it comes to having children, so use your best judgment and hope for the best!

Many articles are written about this topic, so feel free to do your own research if you’re undecided about your future. The Atlantic has a well-written article, and here’s a list of 100 reasons not to have kids (written by a woman who has one). Finally, here are nine reasons to have them.

The decision to have kids or not is completely up to you. Don’t give in to pressure from family or friends. You are the one who will be raising the child or choosing to live a child-free life.