How do you get over a breakup? When you’re dating someone you really care about, it’s devastating to end the relationship and go your separate ways.
Some people are able to heal and jump into another relationship immediately, but others need time to process the breakup.
Being ghosted in dating can also sometimes feel like a breakup. It’s sudden and confusing, and you’ll probably feel hurt and rejected.
No matter how long you were dating, breaking up with someone is traumatizing. Whether you end the relationship or the other person does, it’s a sad and depressing time. When you go through a breakup, you have to deal with a huge loss in your life. You need time to mourn.
Elisabeth-Kubler Ross created a model for the five stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although this model is about coping with the loss of a loved one, when you break up with someone, it signifies the death of the relationship.
How do you get over a breakup?
1. Denial
You might first deny that you’re broken up. You deny it to yourself and to your friends because it just doesn’t seem real that this person is gone from your life.
2. Anger
You’re pissed off at this person. It’s rude to end a meaningful relationship after pouring so much energy into it. You’re bubbling with anger, and you want your ex to suffer for the pain he/she caused you.
3. Bargaining
You might have blamed yourself for the breakup, so you start to bargain in your mind and tell yourself that you’ll change and be a better person. You may also try to bargain with your ex to take you back if you change aspects of yourself.
4. Depression
Going through a stage of depression is a common part of any breakup. You’ve given up hope that you’ll ever get back together, and you just feel sad and alone and lose excitement for all the things you love.
5. Acceptance
You have reached the final stage once you’ve accepted that the relationship is over. You stopped denying it, you’re no longer filled with anger, you see no need to bargain with yourself or your ex, and you don’t feel sad and depressed anymore.
A breakup is similar to a death because the relationship that you’ve grown so fond of has disappeared. Everyone copes with a breakup differently. I have personally gone through the five stages of grief in all my breakups, but you may skip some steps or go through them in a different order. Some stages may last much longer than others, and it’s possible to go through the stages of grief while you’re still in the relationship! If you know in your heart that it’s not going to last, you may already accept it before you officially break up.
There’s no right or wrong way to get over a breakup. Some people prefer to take a dating break for a year after a heart-wrenching breakup, and they can get back in the saddle when they feel ready. Others like to jump back into dating right away. Do whatever works for you, as long as you give yourself time to mourn and heal.