How can you date without appearing desperate?
It’s an immediate turn off to be on a first date and realize that the person you’re sitting across from wants to be married with kids as soon as possible. It’s also a turn off to watch your date undress you with his/her eyes instead of getting to know you.
Men tend to be desperate for sex, while women tend to be desperate for stability (i.e., marriage and kids). The gender roles could be reversed, but that’s usually the norm in dating.
In either case, showing desperation will push the person you’re interested in far, far away. The more you try to pull them toward you, the more they’ll pull away. Think of an elastic band – it will eventually snap if you stretch it too far. In the early stages of dating, you have to approach the relationship slowly and deliberately.
So how can you date without appearing desperate?
1. Don’t be overly available.
Although I hate game-playing when it comes to dating, you have to be somewhat mysterious at first. Don’t respond immediately to every call and text. Try to play it cool, and don’t change your plans for a date. If you were supposed to go out with friends, don’t ditch them because your date just called to ask you out last-minute.
2. Don’t text constantly.
Just like you shouldn’t be overly available, you also don’t want to be in constant communication with your date, especially if he/she is ignoring the majority of your messages. While scrolling through your phone, you should see a back and forth conversation. If it’s one-sided and all coming from you, then it means you’re appearing too desperate.
3. Don’t state the obvious.
If you’re desperate for sex, don’t tell your date that you’re horny as hell and it has been way too long since you were intimate with anyone. Perhaps your date feels the same way, but mentioning it out loud could very well ruin your chances for any physical contact. On the other hand, if you desperately want to get married, talking about your dream of living in a quaint neighborhood with two kids and a picket fence will put a ton of pressure on your date. It’s important to discuss this stuff later on, but not on a first date.
4. Don’t depend on others for your happiness.
You need to learn to be happy on your own. If you count on your date to provide happiness, then you’ll become needy and desperate for happiness from external means, instead of being happy within yourself. Neediness comes across as desperate, and it’ll be a turn off for your date.
The most important thing is to be confident and proud of who you are! Confidence is sexy, and your date will be attracted to your positivity.
Feel free to talk to your friends about how desperate you are for love or sex or companionship, but keep any desperate actions far away from your date. Read more about how to avoid seeming desperate in this article.
When you appear desperate, it makes your date feel like you’d choose anybody, as long as they fulfill your desires. Your date wants to be a prize, not just someone to fulfill your need for sex or marriage.
During these times of uncertainty in the world, many people are desperate for love and affection. Others are desperate for any type of physical touch, especially sex or even just cuddling. Keep in mind that most of us are desperate for something, but the trick is to keep that desperation in check and find a compatible partner. Then you can fulfill each other’s needs, and your desperation will disappear.