There are 6 reasons you should always start with a video date.

Back in the olden days, meaning pre-pandemic, I had no problem meeting a guy from a dating app after a quick texting exchange. I preferred to have a ten minute phone conversation first to hear his voice, but I also liked being spontaneous and jumping in my car to meet a guy in person right away.

I wanted to know if there was in-person chemistry, so I always recommended a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible.

Then COVID-19 happened. I wasn’t as eager to meet people in person anymore. Now that many of us are fully vaccinated, you may argue that it’s safe to go back to my previous dating method of meeting right away. However, I have realized that starting with a video date is the best beginning to any relationship.

Here are 6 reasons to start with a video date:

1. You save time.

Not everyone will live within a few blocks of you, especially if you’re in a large city. You may live an hour away from your date. Even if you’re meeting halfway, you’ll have to give yourself an hour to get there – to add in time if there’s traffic, to search for parking, and to walk to your meeting place. And then it could take another hour to get home. You just spent two hours driving to and from your date, and you have no idea if you’ll even like the person you’re meeting.

If you have a video date first, it takes five seconds to set up your camera and start your virtual date!

2. You save money.

Just as you spend time getting to and from your date, driving or taking public transportation costs money. You have to pay for gas or bus/train fare, and there may be a parking fee as well. If you go out for food or drinks or even to do an activity, it all gets expensive. You might want to get your hair done or buy new clothes, and the money adds up quickly.

If you have a video date, you don’t need to spend a dime. There are no fees to park, and you’re not buying food or drinks for your date.

3. It’s safer.

Any time you meet a stranger, you could be putting yourself in danger. Unless others can vouch for your date, you have no idea if this person is a serial killer! Also, every person you encounter could be a threat to your health these days. Meeting a date in person puts you at risk for COVID-19 or any other illness he/she may have.

On the other hand, you can stay safe and healthy by turning on your phone/computer and having a relaxing video date.

4. You can hear and see the person.

Looking at your date and listening to the sound of his/her voice is basically what a first date entails. Sure, you could be meeting just to have sex, but if you’re interested in a relationship, having a meaningful conversation is normally the first step to decide if you’re attracted to each other. You can start with a phone call, but then you have no idea what your date looks like. What if the profile pictures are 30 years old?

You can have a video date to hear and see the person, and it’s just as good as sitting across from each other at a bar.

5. You can assess chemistry.

Nothing beats in-person chemistry. You may strongly believe that you have to be face-to-face to see if you truly have chemistry with your date. You’re not completely wrong. You may connect on all levels through virtual dates, but you realize there are no sparks as soon as you meet in person.

I don’t want you to waste your time having months of video dates before meeting in person, but just one video date is enough to see if your conversation flows and you have a nice rapport over video. If you don’t seem to “get” each other, then you can say your goodbyes and move on. Or, if you feel totally connected over video, then you’ll be even more excited to meet in person.

6. It’s more comfortable.

Waiting for hours to get a table at your favorite restaurant isn’t fun. Being surrounded by loud, annoying strangers while you’re trying to have a pleasant conversation with your date isn’t enjoyable. Walking in the park with your date seems so romantic until a thunderstorm gives you an unwelcome shower.

You can have a comfortable video date instead! You don’t even need to wear pants as you sprawl out on your couch.

Dating is difficult. And people are lazy. Why spend hours preparing for a date that ends up sucking the life out of you? It takes minimal effort to get ready for a video date. You should still fix your hair and put on a nice shirt, but you don’t need to worry about being overly impressive on video. Video dating is safe and easy, and you can quickly figure out if you’re compatible and whether it’s worth it to meet in person.

How do you get over a breakup? When you’re dating someone you really care about, it’s devastating to end the relationship and go your separate ways.

Some people are able to heal and jump into another relationship immediately, but others need time to process the breakup.

Being ghosted in dating can also sometimes feel like a breakup. It’s sudden and confusing, and you’ll probably feel hurt and rejected.

No matter how long you were dating, breaking up with someone is traumatizing. Whether you end the relationship or the other person does, it’s a sad and depressing time. When you go through a breakup, you have to deal with a huge loss in your life. You need time to mourn.

Elisabeth-Kubler Ross created a model for the five stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although this model is about coping with the loss of a loved one, when you break up with someone, it signifies the death of the relationship.

How do you get over a breakup?

1. Denial

You might first deny that you’re broken up. You deny it to yourself and to your friends because it just doesn’t seem real that this person is gone from your life.

2. Anger

You’re pissed off at this person. It’s rude to end a meaningful relationship after pouring so much energy into it. You’re bubbling with anger, and you want your ex to suffer for the pain he/she caused you.

3. Bargaining

You might have blamed yourself for the breakup, so you start to bargain in your mind and tell yourself that you’ll change and be a better person. You may also try to bargain with your ex to take you back if you change aspects of yourself.

4. Depression

Going through a stage of depression is a common part of any breakup. You’ve given up hope that you’ll ever get back together, and you just feel sad and alone and lose excitement for all the things you love.

5. Acceptance

You have reached the final stage once you’ve accepted that the relationship is over. You stopped denying it, you’re no longer filled with anger, you see no need to bargain with yourself or your ex, and you don’t feel sad and depressed anymore.

A breakup is similar to a death because the relationship that you’ve grown so fond of has disappeared. Everyone copes with a breakup differently. I have personally gone through the five stages of grief in all my breakups, but you may skip some steps or go through them in a different order. Some stages may last much longer than others, and it’s possible to go through the stages of grief while you’re still in the relationship! If you know in your heart that it’s not going to last, you may already accept it before you officially break up.

There’s no right or wrong way to get over a breakup. Some people prefer to take a dating break for a year after a heart-wrenching breakup, and they can get back in the saddle when they feel ready. Others like to jump back into dating right away. Do whatever works for you, as long as you give yourself time to mourn and heal.

Do you have grass is greener syndrome in your dating life? If you don’t know what it means, think about the proverb “the grass is always greener on the other side.” It means that other people seem to be in a better situation than you. If you apply this to dating, then it means that you think everyone else has a better relationship status.

Do you feel like you’re missing out on something incredible? Do you always seem to be dating with one foot out the door? Having grass is greener syndrome is not just connected to your dating life. It can pertain to your job, your location, and your social circle as well.

I’ll admit that I’ve moved way too many times in my adult life because I’m constantly searching for someplace better to live. I’ve rarely felt settled in any location, so I didn’t give each place a solid chance to grow on me. I do, however, give men a fair chance in dating. Some of my friends who are in serious relationships are always looking for someone better, and they may never feel fully satisfied in their current situations.

Maybe you’re bored with your partner, or perhaps you feel trapped and want the ability to have a quick getaway if needed. Or you’re just afraid of commitment, and you tell yourself that you’ll find a better partner next time. You don’t put enough effort into your relationship because you’re always looking ahead to see what else is out there. Therefore, all your relationships fail.

Do you constantly wonder “what if”?

What if you swipe right on Tinder and find the love of your life on your next date? Even though the person sitting across from you on your date is amazing, you still wonder if there’s someone better for you. The swiping mentality has ruined dating in some ways. Practically everyone has developed grass is greener syndrome in dating. They know that they can swipe right on hundreds of others, so they don’t pay attention to what’s right in front of them.

What if you’re dating someone great, but you’re jealous of your friend’s relationship with her boyfriend? You see how they interact with each other, and you desperately want that for yourself. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, though, so maybe YOU are actually in a successful relationship while your friend only appears to be happy. She could be miserable, so it’s dangerous to compare your situation to others.

What if you’re about to get married, but you’re afraid that this isn’t the perfect relationship you’ve always dreamed about? You worry that marrying this person will be a huge mistake. Unfortunately, nobody is perfect. You have to accept the good with the bad. Even if it seems like all your single friends are much better off, you should stop comparing your life to others.

If you try to date while you have grass is greener syndrome, you’ll never be happy.

All you can do is enjoy the present. Avoid comparing your life to social media posts (what you see is mostly fake anyway)! Just live life to the fullest and be grateful for what you have.