There are 10 reasons you should be thankful you are single right now.

Thanksgiving is coming up, and you may have to celebrate alone this year because of the pandemic. It’s a lonely time, but there are lots of ways to enjoy this time of year by yourself. Being single isn’t a bad thing, but instead, it’s a reason to be thankful!

The movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is one of my favorites. In the movie, a guy just wants to make it home to Chicago to see his family for Thanksgiving. He faces all sorts of hurdles along the way, and I love watching the hilarious adventures he goes through. But it makes me question whether it’s worth it to travel during the busiest time of the year. Wouldn’t it be easier to relax at home by yourself?

 

Here are 10 reasons you should be thankful you are single:

 

1. Complete control over everything.

You get to do whatever you want and go wherever you want. If you enjoy sitting on the couch all day in your pajamas watching Netflix, you have my blessing to do that!

2. The bed is all yours.

You can sprawl out and have a peaceful night’s sleep without being woken up by snoring or someone else tossing and turning. You can sleep all weekend if you want to.

3. No need to compromise on a movie or TV show to watch.

You get to watch whatever you please. This time of year, I watch every Christmas movie I can find. The cheesier, the better.

4. Order food from all your favorite restaurants, and eat everything yourself.

You don’t have to split the last eggroll, and you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s food allergies.

5. Plan a night out (or in) without needing permission.

You don’t have to check in with anyone before deciding what to do. You can go for a soothing sunset walk without waiting for anyone else to be available.

6. Focus on yourself.

If you’ve wanted to take a class or learn a new skill, now is your chance. You won’t have any distractions as you gain knowledge and grow as a person.

7. Have the life you’ve always imagined.

Want to have a relaxing day sitting in the bathtub and reading a book? Go for it! You deserve it.

8. Explore your passions and hobbies without having to make time for a partner.

Feel free to play guitar (badly) and belt out your favorite songs without any judgment from others.

9. Figure out who you are.

You are a unique individual with impressive qualities. This is the time for you to explore all your values, desires, and goals in life so you can make all your dreams come true.

10. Spend more time with family and friends, even if it’s all virtual for now.

Your loved ones will always support you, so make the most of your time with them. Romantic relationships may come and go, but family is forever.

There are 7 ways to really get to know someone you’re in a relationship with.

Of course, spending time together, asking each other deep questions, and participating in activities together are all vital to growing as a couple. But if you want to know your date’s true nature, this list will help you gain insight.

Here are 7 Ways to Really Get to Know Someone:

1. See how he acts while drunk

Your true colors will show when you’re drunk. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and you may do stupid things without thinking. Your personality could become more extreme, whether you’re silly and happy, angry and aggressive, moody and emotional, or relaxed and calm. After your date has a few drinks, pay attention to his behavior to get a sense of his true nature.

2. See how he treats the waiter

You may have heard that the way a man treats his waiter is very telling of his personality. It’s true! If your date is condescending, demanding, or just plain rude to the waiter, there’s a good chance he’ll treat you the same way. Maybe not yet, but you’ll eventually see that side shine through. On the other hand, if your date is friendly and generous with the waiter, it’s a sign that he’ll probably be that way with you in the long run.

3. See how he behaves while angry

Everyone has a unique way of showing anger. Some clam up and lock themselves in their room until they calm down. Others lash out at anyone in their path. Some appear to be a ticking time bomb, and if you make the slightest movement or comment to set them off, they’ll explode. Showing anger makes you vulnerable, but if your date handles his anger in a mature way, you’ll learn a lot about his true nature.

4. See how he acts when sick

Being sick is awful. You not only feel physically weak and helpless, but it clogs your mind and judgment as well. In the movie Wedding Crashers, a character ingests Visine, which causes him to be sick all night. He’s rude and demanding to his girlfriend, and although he had been able to hide that nasty side from her, his true personality shows when he’s sitting by the toilet.

5. During an emergency

If there’s an emergency, would you want your date to panic and run around acting like a chicken with its head cut off? Or would taking appropriate actions to resolve the situation be much better? How your date deals with last-minute emergencies is telling of his personality. If you’re injured, you want someone by your side who will take charge and help you, while keeping you calm and relaxed throughout the whole ordeal.

6. See how he interacts with family

You may hide your true self from dating prospects and instead show the best version of yourself for as long as possible. However, your family knows the truest version of who you are. After all, you’ve grown up together, and they saw all sides of you at every stage of your life. Once you watch how your date interacts with his family, you’ll get a sense of who he truly is.

7. While on vacation

Going on vacation with a partner is a great way to really get to know each other. You’re both out of your comfort zone and in a new environment, and you can’t always control your surroundings. You get to see what he’s like on a plane, in a hotel, while exploring, and when things go wrong. If it’s raining the day you wanted to go to the beach, does he get frustrated and moody? You can learn how rigid or flexible he is throughout the entire vacation experience.

What are the 5 main fears you have in a relationship?

I took a seminar years ago about the five fears people have in life. If you search on the internet, you’ll find a variety of fears named, including this list in Psychology Today.

Because fear comes in many forms, there’s no absolute list of what people fear the most. Thinking back on the seminar I took, I realized that the top fears that were discussed are completely applicable to relationships.

Love is a major part of life, and you may take huge risks in love, hoping for a positive outcome of living happily ever after. You could also be terrified to take a risk because of past experiences or some sort of fear that’s holding you back.

Here are the 5 fears you have in a relationship:

1. Rejection

In all stages of dating and relationships, there’s a possibility of being rejected. You might be rejected just for going up to someone and saying hi. Or you’ve been talking for a few minutes, and you’re rejected after asking the person out. Or you go on a few dates, and then the person rejects you. Even more traumatic is if you date for months or years or build a life together as a married couple, and then you face sudden rejection.

Whenever you take a risk in love, you must realize that there’s a chance you’ll be rejected. It’s normal to fear rejection, but you’ll never have success if you don’t try. What’s the worst that could happen? Life is messy. You’ll be rejected from all sorts of things in life, including dates, jobs, friendships, tryouts, and more. Once you get over your fear of rejection, you’ll take more risks and have more success.

2. Failure

You may have put a ton of effort into your relationship. If you devoted all your time and energy into this person, you’ll feel like a total failure when the relationship fails. You have a fear of the relationship falling apart and ending, so you do whatever it takes to fix the broken parts. Unfortunately, some relationships are doomed, no matter what.

If you fear failure, you may continue spending time with someone that’s wrong for you. Everyone excels in certain areas and fails in others, so you’re not unique to fail in your relationship. Once you accept that failing in this relationship will help you succeed in a future one, you’ll be a lot closer to finding a compatible partner.

3. Being Out of Control

The only thing you can control is yourself. It’s scary to feel like the world is crumbling around you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. When you’re in a relationship, you can’t control the other person’s thoughts or actions. If you have a fear of letting go and being out of control, you may never have a fulfilling relationship.

In order to feel love, you must be comfortable being out of control. Think about the phrase “falling in love.” Just like the physical act of falling, it can be scary, sudden, and uncontrollable. You’re in a vulnerable state as you fall. Instead of fearing this feeling, it’s healthier to embrace it and allow yourself to enjoy having no control over your feelings of love.

4. The Unknown

Life is a mystery. Love is a mystery. Who knows what the future will bring. It’s pointless to fear what you don’t know. If you spend your life being afraid of what’s to come, you’ll never experience what is right in front of you. Worrying and wondering about your unknown future will keep you stuck in a meaningless life.

If you want to have an amazing relationship, you have to let go of your fear of the unknown. You may die tomorrow or live until you’re 120. It’s impossible to know, so all you can do is be happy in the present. Don’t put off taking risks in love because of your fear of the unknown. If you wait until your fear subsides, it may be too late to be with your true love.

5. Physical Pain

This fear may seem unrelated to relationships, but it’s actually a very real fear that people have when it comes to love. When a relationship ends, you feel the pain in your whole body. Your heart aches, you may have nausea and abdominal pain, and your body feels heavy and weak.

If you have a fear of physical pain, you may be scared to get involved in a committed relationship because you’re dreading that awful feeling you have when you break up. Life has ups and downs. In order to experience the bliss of an incredible, passionate romance, you will also likely experience a disastrous breakup that leaves your body aching for weeks. If you want love in your life, you have to push past your fear of pain and hope for the best.

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You may have all 5 of these fears in a relationship. Or perhaps you have learned to ignore your fears because your desire for a relationship overpowers your fears. If you know you are ready for a relationship and you won’t let anything get in the way of your dreams, then it’s time to conquer your fears.

How can you date without appearing desperate?

It’s an immediate turn off to be on a first date and realize that the person you’re sitting across from wants to be married with kids as soon as possible. It’s also a turn off to watch your date undress you with his/her eyes instead of getting to know you.

Men tend to be desperate for sex, while women tend to be desperate for stability (i.e., marriage and kids). The gender roles could be reversed, but that’s usually the norm in dating.

In either case, showing desperation will push the person you’re interested in far, far away. The more you try to pull them toward you, the more they’ll pull away. Think of an elastic band – it will eventually snap if you stretch it too far. In the early stages of dating, you have to approach the relationship slowly and deliberately.

So how can you date without appearing desperate?

1. Don’t be overly available.

Although I hate game-playing when it comes to dating, you have to be somewhat mysterious at first. Don’t respond immediately to every call and text. Try to play it cool, and don’t change your plans for a date. If you were supposed to go out with friends, don’t ditch them because your date just called to ask you out last-minute.

2. Don’t text constantly.

Just like you shouldn’t be overly available, you also don’t want to be in constant communication with your date, especially if he/she is ignoring the majority of your messages. While scrolling through your phone, you should see a back and forth conversation. If it’s one-sided and all coming from you, then it means you’re appearing too desperate.

3. Don’t state the obvious.

If you’re desperate for sex, don’t tell your date that you’re horny as hell and it has been way too long since you were intimate with anyone. Perhaps your date feels the same way, but mentioning it out loud could very well ruin your chances for any physical contact. On the other hand, if you desperately want to get married, talking about your dream of living in a quaint neighborhood with two kids and a picket fence will put a ton of pressure on your date. It’s important to discuss this stuff later on, but not on a first date.

4. Don’t depend on others for your happiness.

You need to learn to be happy on your own. If you count on your date to provide happiness, then you’ll become needy and desperate for happiness from external means, instead of being happy within yourself. Neediness comes across as desperate, and it’ll be a turn off for your date.

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The most important thing is to be confident and proud of who you are! Confidence is sexy, and your date will be attracted to your positivity.

Feel free to talk to your friends about how desperate you are for love or sex or companionship, but keep any desperate actions far away from your date. Read more about how to avoid seeming desperate in this article.

When you appear desperate, it makes your date feel like you’d choose anybody, as long as they fulfill your desires. Your date wants to be a prize, not just someone to fulfill your need for sex or marriage.

During these times of uncertainty in the world, many people are desperate for love and affection. Others are desperate for any type of physical touch, especially sex or even just cuddling. Keep in mind that most of us are desperate for something, but the trick is to keep that desperation in check and find a compatible partner. Then you can fulfill each other’s needs, and your desperation will disappear.