Timing is everything in relationships.

I was talking to a friend who was extremely frustrated by her last boyfriend. They had been together for a year, and he finally admitted that he wasn’t ready to get married.

She complained to me that she wasted a year of her life with a loser who wasn’t marriage-material. I pointed out that he might be a wonderful husband in the future, but he’s not ready for that phase of his life yet.

It reminded me of a scene in the show Sex and the City.

Here’s the interaction:

Charlotte: We’re the right match. It’s fate.

Miranda: It’s not fate. His light is on, that’s all.

Charlotte: What light?

Miranda: Men are like cabs. When they’re available, their light goes on. They wake up one day, and they decide they’re ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up, boom. That’s the one they’ll marry. It’s not fate. It’s dumb luck.

Charlotte: Sorry, I refuse to believe that love is at random.

Miranda: Please, it’s all about timing. You gotta get them when their light’s on.

Carrie: Most men I meet are flashing yellows.

Miranda: Or off duty. They can drive around for years picking up women and not be available.

Carrie: Then they really shouldn’t be allowed to get behind the wheel.

Miranda: Most men don’t stay lit long before they take the plunge, versus most women who’ve been lit pretty much since birth.

That scene is so accurate when it comes to timing in relationships. I have been in that situation many times in my life. When I meet the right guy, then I feel that the time to be together is NOW! But unfortunately, the timing is off, and he’s not ready to commit to a lifelong partnership. His cab light isn’t on yet, so I have to let him go and find a guy with his light on.

If it’s the wrong time, it’s the wrong person.

This lack of readiness is very common in today’s world. Men usually like to be successful in work before starting a family, while women feel ready as soon as they meet the right person. It’s a big problem in dating.

In the scene above, Carrie says men shouldn’t be allowed to get behind the wheel if they’re not available. It’s not fair to the women they date to lead them on for years when they aren’t ready for a real commitment. However, the men still want intimacy and dating experience, so they continue testing it out until they suddenly become available. Whatever woman steps into their path next is the one they’ll marry.

Timing really is everything in relationships. If the light goes on, the time is right. If you want success in your relationship, you must figure out if you’re both on the same page and heading in the right direction at the same time.