Cheating is so common in today’s culture. Lots of people do it for a variety of reasons, so should you tell your partner if you cheated?
Some data shows that over 50% of married people cheat at least once.
Close to 70% of people would have an affair if they knew they’d never get caught.
What do you do if you get yourself into this situation? The obvious response is to NOT CHEAT in the first place, but what if you can’t help it? You could argue that everyone can “help it,” but every experience is unique.
If you did cheat on your partner, you can’t take that back. What’s done is done. You may feel lots of guilt or regret, and you want to tell your partner in order to relieve yourself of this guilt. But…
You should absolutely not tell your partner if you cheated.
What good can come from telling your partner? He/she will be angry and heartbroken and possibly want to leave you. If you decide to stay together, he/she will be suspicious of all your actions for a very long time, if not forever.
This Bustle article agrees with me. Some experts advise you to always be honest in a relationship, but many will say to keep your mouth shut when it comes to cheating.
I’ve known many people who cheated on their partners. For some, it was a one-night stand. For others, they were in love with this other person and didn’t know what to do. I had a friend who cheated on his girlfriend and purposely got caught so she’d break up with him. Instead of owning up to the fact that he didn’t like her anymore, he ended the relationship by cheating.
If you’re tempted to cheat, it’s probably a sign that you shouldn’t be in your current relationship anymore.
I realize it’s a lot more complicated if you’re married, so I urge you to seek coaching or therapy if you’re strongly considering having an affair.
Disclaimer: This post contains an affiliate link. For more information, see my full disclosures here.
There are many books that can help you if you have cheated or are contemplating cheating on your partner. This book is a good one to read, and there are plenty of other options, too.
You may think cheating is a fun, risky game you play to test your limits.
Will you get caught? How many times can you get away with it?
If your partner catches you in the act, you obviously can’t deny it. However, if your partner is suspicious of your actions and notices your odd behavior, that’s when you need to assess your real motivation behind your actions.
What’s bringing you to cheat?
What’s going on in your relationship that’s pushing you away? Do you feel like choosing to be with this person means you’re settling?
As I mentioned, I don’t think you should tell your partner you’re cheating, but it’s a good time to analyze your relationship dynamics and aim for improvement.
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