How much does age really matter in a relationship?
The first thing that pops into my head when I hear this question is “Age is just a number,” but I don’t completely agree with that statement. Of course, you’re only as old as you feel, but when it comes to relationships, it’s a little more complicated than that.
This question actually has a two-part answer. I’ll first discuss an appropriate age to be when committing to a partner, and then I’ll talk about the age difference between people in a relationship.
What age is appropriate for starting a relationship?
I strongly believe that you need to know yourself and love yourself completely before you commit to a relationship with someone else. You can take this Relationship Quiz to find out if you’re ready.
There’s no absolute age when this happens, but for most people, it’s somewhere between ages 25-30. If you follow a typical life path, you will have finished college and had a few years of real-world experience.
This Zoosk article says that your brain continues to develop until you’re 25 years old. Once you reach this age, you should know yourself pretty well.
Maybe you don’t know what career interests you, but you probably have a pretty good grasp of what you like and dislike about yourself and others.
If you met your soulmate before this age, I’m not saying to let this person go. I just think it would be wise to get to know yourself before jumping into marriage. You may have changed aspects of your personality, without even realizing it, to be a better fit for your partner.
Take time to be the best version of yourself. And if you’re still single at age 45, don’t think you lost your window of opportunity. It just means you took more time to grow as an individual. There’s somebody out there for you!
What if there’s a big age gap between you and your partner?
Many people have different opinions on what their perfect age is for a partner.
If you’re 25 and looking for a financially stable partner who owns a home, you may be searching for someone in their 30s or 40s.
If you’re a 50-year-old man who really wants a biological child, you’re probably searching for a woman in her 20s or 30s.
It’s not impossible to get what you want, but remember that the other person may be concerned with the age gap.
You’re more likely to have things in common if you’re closer in age.
If you’re more than 8 years apart, you start to notice differences.
Perhaps you grew up listening to a different style of music and following certain fashion trends that your partner doesn’t understand.
Maybe you watched popular TV shows and movies that your partner never even heard of.
These aren’t deal breakers for most people, but it could create some tension in the relationship. The younger partner may make “old person” jokes, and the older partner may resent the younger one for being so naive and immature.
The older you get, the less age matters, but if you have certain goals that you want to meet, age could be a factor. I don’t trust people that refuse to say their age. They’re obviously embarrassed by it, but what else are they hiding?
You should be proud and confident of your age. It’s a part of your identity, and you’ll find someone who appreciates you AND your age!